Santa Claus Needs To Lose Weight To Set A Good Example For Children

I think during our current era, with its epidemic of childhood morbid obesity, that Santa Claus should set a good example for all the boys and girls who look up to him by going on a diet and slimming down.

With something like 30%, or more, of American kids overweight we really don't need a jolly fat man giving kids candy canes.

Santa Claus should pass out carrot sticks instead of candy canes.

Each year it seems like more Santa's get stuck in chimneys than the year before.


A slimmed down Santa would have a lot easier time going down and back up chimneys.

A slimmed down Santa would make the reindeer's job a lot easier, too. Hauling all that extra Santa weight burns a lot of reindeer calories. And likely contributes to early reindeer burnout.

Maintaining all that Santa weight takes a lot of food. Food that might feed a hungry kid or two.

A down-sized Santa Claus would save money on his Santa outfits, too, due to a Slim Santa outfit requiring far less material.

In conclusion, Santa, please eat less and resist all those cookies kids leave out for you.